Is America Ready for a President Who Has Never Been Drunk?
Mitt Romney is a devout Mormon who does not drink. Despite a beer he tried as a “wayward youth,” he has never even had alcohol and yet he believes he can lead this nation. This is like someone who has never prayed believing he can be pope. It’s just not going to work.
First, a president needs to understand the plight of his people. Mitt Romney has $170 million, which to someone who spends no money on drinks, must be like $400 million. Someone like that would never know what a Four Loko tastes like or lower themselves to drink something that’s only sold at bodegas for $3 and probably contains antifreeze. And until you know what it’s like to drink two Four Lokos and then try to break into a toy store to see if the toys come alive at night and then, when they don’t, start yelling at the toys for being lazy, and then cry, you’ll never understand what makes America great.
Will Newman’s got a point. My fuzzy memories of the original Four Loko are varied and precious to me, and I relate best to those who understand that.